So the blog is now up and running. I am now at M.D. Anderson down in Houston, TX. I have a PICC line installed and my chemotherapy is well underway.
I decided before I came down here that would like to keep a blog. One, because I’ve never done it before. Two, because it is a good way to relay information on a mass scale. But the most important reason for me is share what God has been doing in my heart.
I feel it would a waste of my “platform” if I did not take the opportunity to try and teach biblical truths. C.S. Lewis is quoted as saying, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”
Over the past couple of days I have had a number of conversations with people who wrestle with God’s role in my relapse of leukemia. Their view of God is that somehow trouble has arisen unbeknownst to God and it is now our “duty” to remind God of what He needs to do.
Let me say very lovingly and humbly that such a view a God brings me no comfort. I do believe in the power of true prayer.(James 5:16) But how could I find myself engaged in true worship of God who is “surprised” by things such as cancer, natural disasters and the like?
Let me share with you a couple passages from the Christian Bible that, as they harmonize together, bring me great comfort during the is time.
The first is found towards the end of the New Testament. Jesus’ close friend writes these words under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. “ Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”
In other words the very nature and essence of God is love. Therefore we can know that God does not act out of character; He always acts out of love. Not the way we define love but the way pure definition of love that is God Himself. Even in this passage the act of love moves God the Father to crush His only son for the sake of those who rebel against Him. In a fallen world is most reasonable for us to expect pain as God works out His perfect plan. (1 John 4:8-10)
The second “passage of peace” is from the Old Testament. In what we call the 55th chapter written from the prophet Isaiah the Lord gives us a little insight into the “learning curve” between Himself and ourselves. He writes this, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9) For those of your reading who either have or have had small children you should understand this passage. When it comes to your child you can either explain electricity and heating coils and why the oven is able to get to a 450 degrees Fahrenheit in matter of minutes or can simply tell them not to touch it. You can explain to them nutrition and what will happen to their bodies if they choose to eat the whole box of cookies or can just tell them not to eat it.When they ask “why” your best hope might be to appeal to your love for them.Our problem really is found in the fact that we think we are intelligent.We are not. Often times the Lord just needs to remind us that He not only operates out of love but He is love. Many times that makes His ways so far above ours that it simply cannot be explained.
The last passage the brings me comfort is also from the prophet Isaiah. I will admit that when we search the scriptures for “comfort verses” this one is not usually high on the list. In Isaiah 45 God is dealing with Cyrus whom he has used to discipline His beloved nation who are descendants of Jacob or Israel. During the passage God tells the prophet to make this statement, “I am the Lord, and there is no other besides me there is no God; I equip you, though you do not know me, that people may know, from the rising of the sun and from the west, that there is none besides me; I am the Lord, and there is no other. I form light and create darkness, I make well-being and create calamity, I am the Lord, who does all these things.” There you have it ladies and gentlemen. The “God of calm and calamity.” Don’t let some “health and wealth” theologian twist this verse. It really says what it really says. In other words God stands right in the middle of my leukemia relapse having the power to keep it from happening but choosing not to do so for His own good reason.
God is bringing leukemia back into my life for reasons that most of us cannot understand. But His nature is love. I don’t have to understand the “why” but, by grace, I can know and hold the hand of “who.” The One who loved me and gave Himself up for me even while I will still a sinner. (Romans 5:8)
My hope and prayer for you today is that you have this sort of peace and understanding. Maybe you’re in touch office, feeling small in a cubicle, in a ministry that seems lifeless, riding in a police car, “eyeballed” by those who hate you or staying at home with children who test your very being. Remember that the Creator of the Universe is at work today. His ways are high, His sovereignty is sure and His motive is pure.
Because He first loved me,